the journey by mary oliver

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do –
determined to save
the only life you could save.

~Mary Oliver~

the journey by mary oliver was sent to me by someone or perhaps i read it in a blog somewhere but it stopped me in my tracks.  it doesn’t matter where it came from but it showed up exactly when it was supposed to show up.  i cried, reread it and cried some more.  I could cry again reading it – yes, i am sap. the verse that made me weep “you knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundation…”.   i think we all know what we’re supposed to do.  i know i did.  i could feel those stiff fingers prying at my very foundation, trying to knock me down.  but i plowed through.  it’s still a journey but a journey that i embracing with open arms.

everyday we listen to what others say,  what others want.  when really, deep down, we know what we need and want.  those outside forces keep pushing us back to keep us in that protected ball that makes THEM feel comfortable.   it is then that you must push back and save the only life you can save.

always be true to you.  ~hugs

The Journey by Mary Oliver

photo by stacy tarlow photography – please don’t steal images, it ain’t cool.

cracked

CRACKED

adj

1. broken so that the surface is fissured

2.  broken into pieces

3.  mentally disturbed

i looked up the definition.  i knew what it meant but i wanted to all official-like.  you see, i have a fascination about the word cracked.  little kids giggle because they will say “i see that man’s crack”…and laughter ensues.  but to me, it’s the first definition that gets me.  “broken so that the surface is fissured”.  that’s me (no comment from the people who happen to know number three is me too!!).  just because i may happen to be slightly broken doesn’t mean that i’m damaged.  i happen to like being cracked.  i like how it defines me and makes me stronger.  it doesn’t mean i’m tossed into the heap with other garbage.  it means that i’m fragile and vulnerable.  i think we all are cracked in some way or another.  it’s the inner stuff that keeps us together….holds us strong.  so i’m proud of my cracked surface.  and i’m proud that little by little, i allow others to see my vulnerable state in hopes that they too, will allow me into their world.   i truly feel that if you allow people into your world to see your cracked surface, the stronger you become.  vulnerability doesn’t make you weak, seeing someone’s cracked surface doesn’t make them any less….it makes them beautiful and amazing.  for a long time i didn’t think i was beautiful or amazing but i’m slowly cracking the surface.  and i have my inner bitch to thank for that!  i’ll save my inner bitch speech for another post.

i took this picture not too long ago – i loved how the light came through the crack in the fence.  i stopped because it reminded me of myself…..allowing just enough light to shine through so i don’t blind you.

be good to you.

stacy tarlow

~hugs

bangor high school senior portraits by stacy tarlow

i can’t help but love my job.  i love some many different parts of it.  sometimes it will be newborns, sometimes it will two year olds, sometimes it will be engagements pictures.  BUT i had found a new love last year.  high school senior photography!!  can i tell you how much fun it was last year to photograph these amazing young people?   they had their heads together.  they knew where they wanted to go.  they knew what they wanted to do with their lives.  each and everyone of them amazed me.  i wish i had my head together when i was a senior.  sheesh.  i’m lucky if i knew which socks were clean on my bedroom floor.  and do be honest, sometimes i didn’t.  sorry about that personal tidbit of information.  you can be rest assured that i now know which ones are clean and which ones aren’t.  see i can be mature!!!

let me introduce to you this amazing bangor high school senior.  she came to be via facebook.  good ol’ facebook – how i love ya.  you see, her mom and i went to school together.  actually  junior high.  way back when we didn’t know what facebook was about or cell phones or even computers for that matter.  her daughter reached out to me, friended me on facebook and asked me to take her senior pictures.  how could i say no?

we met up on a beautiful april afternoon.  i picked her and a friend up (it’s always fun to bring a friend along) and off we went.   we went to a few very cool locations – some with permission (thank you Mid Coast Fine Antiques of Maine )and some we didn’t have permission (thank you old abandoned home ready to fall in).  we laughed and had the best afternoon.  this girl was fun, vibrant, full of energy, a lover of life and everything that came with it.  she has an artistic eye that i hope she follows.  she has a gift that she should roll around in and swallow it up.  grab life by the horns you beautiful girl!!!   and thank you for spending the afternoon with me.   ~hugs

 

 

 

 bangor high school senior portraits by stacy tarlowbangor high school senior portraits by stacy tarlowbangor high school senior portraits by stacy tarlowbangor high school senior portraits by stacy tarlowbangor high school senior portraits by stacy tarlowbangor high school senior portraits by stacy tarlowbangor high school senior portraits by stacy tarlowbangor high school senior portraits by stacy tarlowbangor high school senior portraits by stacy tarlow

bangor high school senior portraits by stacy tarlow

my journey ~ new york photography by stacy tarlow

everyone has a journey.  some journeys are easy, while some are difficult.  my journey the past year has been difficult.  and while it hasn’t been easy, it has made me who i am and who i want to be.  i truly believe that if you allow yourself to be kept down and not allowed to be who you need to be, then what’s the point of all this?   i guess i’m saying is that i’d rather have one day of happiness than a lifetime of being where i was.  it wasn’t a horrible place, don’t get me wrong.  but it wasn’t me and i wasn’t happy.  i love being where i am at this very moment.  yes i’m scared about the future and yes i’m scared about the unknown.  but it won’t stop me….it will only make me stronger.  i truly have faith in this journey that i’m on and i trust wherever it leads me, is where i’m supposed to go.

this picture was taken at rye beach, new york with my iphone.  you don’t need fancy fancy equipment to take great images.  you have to use what you got.

 

 

rye beach by stacy tarlow

~hugs

 

Newborn Photography by Stacy Tarlow

baby “e” ~ newborn photography by stacy tarlow

i love to photograph newborns.  for a few reasons…..those little buggers don’t move much, they pretty much go with the flow as long as their belly is full and diaper is dry, they never give me a hard time about posing and last but not least, the smell so good you just want to eat ‘em up.  this little guy was born in rye, ny to an amazing family.  the mom and dad couldn’t be nicer and his big brother was thoughtful so sweet.  i can’t wait to see him grow up.

 

Newborn Photography by Stacy Tarlow

 

 

Newborn Photography by Stacy Tarlow

 

Newborn Photography by Stacy Tarlow

 

Newborn Photography by Stacy Tarlow

 

Newborn Photography by Stacy Tarlow

 

Newborn Photography by Stacy Tarlow

~hugs